Generosity as a statement of faith

Yesterday afternoon the UPS truck pulled up and left two huge boxes on the doorstep - both had come from our daughter Naomi, and her husband, Craig. Inside, there must have been a dozen brightly wrapped presents with bows and ribbon and all the festive overload she could muster!

If we did one thing well as parents then it was teaching the children a little about generosity. Gratitude - Promise - Faith - Hope - Thanksgiving - Generosity... these are all words that take on meaning over years of practice and of living the concepts out loud.

There's one story that I shared with my on-line class a few days ago, and it illustrates a little of the process. It's called "The Scooter Episode":

Every year, back when we lived in Pensacola, our church (Trinity Presbyterian) sponsored an "Angel Tree" for needy children from an under-resourced elementary school in an impoverished community. During the year folk from the church tutored, participate in work-projects, sponsored field trips etc. etc., literally pouring themselves into the situation.

Our children, Andrew and Naomi, always picked names of kids that matched their ages. Then we'd shop together. One year - I think they were eight and six - scooters were the "hot" item; they were all Andrew and Naomi had talked about for months on end. But times were lean and there was hardly room in the family budget for two scooters, let alone four...

"Besides," we said, "we're not supposed to spend too much on the Angel Tree kids" (something about a rift in the space-time continuum..!). Our angels had both written in "scooter", but they tended to wish for all sorts of things they knew they'd never see: "A BMW" "A new house" "A ride in the Space Shuttle" "My mom and dad back together again..."

So we went to the store, filling out the items on the angel cards. Andrew and Naomi disappeared, and came back ten minutes later with two very cool-looking scooters.

"Hey," we said. "The parents get to pick out your Christmas presents! You have to wait for Christmas Eve and see what happens."

"They're not for us," they said - evidently agreeing on something for the first time in history. "We know we can't get four, but these scooters are for our Angel kids..."

Yes, we were amazed. Our children were/are awesome! We realized they actually "got it."

But this next part is most important - it's how we made sure they really understood what they had done. Some of our friends told us we needed to find the extra money somehow, that we needed to surprise our children with scooters on Christmas Day - kind of a "reward" for doing the right thing and being so generous...

...But that would have missed the point, and the lesson would have lost its real impact. There were no scooters for Andrew and Naomi - it turns out there never were. But there was JOY - the kind that comes out of understanding the real meaning of LOVE...

Generosity may be a spiritual gift - but it's a gift we can all cultivate, and a gift we can return to the world round us.

In the true spirit of Christmas - DEREK

Picture at left - 2009 at Maul hall

Living in a "redemptive conciousness"

It's a misty, mild morning here in west/central Florida. Walking our neighborhood and around the golf course, emerging morning half-light, shapes shifting as they come out of the fog, has an ethereal water-color feel to it today. There's a sense of expectancy in the air and it's more than simply "Ten days before Christmas..."

Under our tree, Rebekah placed the first two presents. I have a huge surprise gift I'm working on, but it's not quite ready for wrapping. Our big gift has already gone to Heifer International (that right, piggies!) and a family at the Beth El Mission will be making music together on a good guitar. Christmas is emerging like the morning did today, a piece at a time as we sketch in the details.

A slow start in the early hours is good for me. Maybe it takes me longer than most folk to get focused and centered... or maybe too many of us have forgotten that we can? But I honestly can't imagine being able to bring much to the table in the way of purpose and creativity if I slide out of bed and directly to work without taking the time to at least aim myself in the right direction!

Here's what I have discovered. If I miss my devotional interlude because I "Just don't have the time today", then the thirty minutes or so that I saved is pretty much shot by lunch anyway.

Here's the math as I see it. Say I have eight hours of productive work to do, and I need to be at my desk by 9:00 AM in order to get the time in. Then I sleep late, get caught in an early phone call, lose track of time - whatever, and it's 9:05 and I have yet to spend a (conscious) moment with God. I can:

• A) Get to work immediately in response to the sense of urgency. Or...
  
• B) Still take 30 minutes to gather my thoughts and spend time in meditation and prayer.

If I chose "B", then the less than eight and a half hours remaining are typically more productive and creative. If I chose "A", then I may have more raw time available, but by lunch I typically find that I'm not making much headway and I'm actually further behind.

It turns out that time itself need not rule me. When I align myself with the fundamental nature of the Creator - which is creativity and the generation of life - then concepts such as time and other limitations of the temporal order are less restrictive and tend not to be so pre-conclusive.

I pray that we all live this day in what I have decided to call a "redemptive consciousness."

Love and blessings - DEREK

My thoughts on Tiger Woods

What’s abnormal is the dysfunction; what’s wide of God’s mark are the other 360-plus days; what’s uncalled for is this broken world’s unrelenting pain - "In My heart I Carry A Star" - page 144

For the past week or so I've sat on the sidelines and listened to much of the lip-flapping that's been going on in response to the Tiger Woods meltdown. It's all been very sad, and I really haven't wanted to add any more attention to what has become a kind of rubbernecking situation intermingled with tabloid-level voyeurism; like there's been this horrible wreck, and everything comes to a standstill while onlookers gawk at the unfolding tragedy.

But this weekend I read an article that made me want to comment. First, though, let me outline my qualifications to speak at all:

1. I've been a fan of Tiger Woods for many years. I probably like Phil Mickelson a lot more, but when Tiger's on the course I want him to win; simple as that.
2. My morality is based on a response to justice and love; not fear or guilt.
   
3. I'm more interested in redemption than judgment.
4. I've been writing social commentary for years; I believe I understand this culture.
5. I'm actually a decent golfer.

Anyway, the article that has motivated me - it was by some sportswriter - made me realize I really do have something useful to say. He suggested - and I've heard variations of this idea from several sportswriters - that Tiger should stop pretending, stop cultivating some "image", and embrace his true character.

"Don't apologize," the writer suggested: "When you throw clubs; that's the real you; when you curse on the course, that's just who you are; you shouldn't have backed down from those dirty jokes you told, you were just being yourself; so what if you cheat on your wife and like to play around? it doesn't help anything to pretend anything different..." blah, blah, blah, blah.

My wife, Rebekah, made a great observation this summer. She'd been watching some tournaments on TV with me and noticed Tiger's demeanor was exceptionally sour and getting worse.

"Tiger Woods isn't enjoying any of this," she said. "I wonder what's going on in his life that's got him so tense and short-tempered. I hope everything's Okay...."

Bingo! There was dissonance written all over the man. Incongruence; war; turmoil, angst. It doesn't matter how rich you are - One Billion Dollars! You can have a beautiful spouse and precious children. Fame - respect - adoration? It's all pretty much worthless.

I work hard and earn less than $15,000 a year. But I am so unbelievably rich! I have wealth and abundance I can't begin to calculate! I am full to overflowing!

• Okay, so here's one of the big lies. The big lie is that personal indulgence is the road to satisfaction.
• Here's another one: "Tiger Woods needs to come to terms with the fact that he's a cad and he should simply offer 'the finger' to the moralistic world and get back to enjoying himself."

That is wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! "Selfish" and "controlling"and "unhappy" and "petulant" don't add up to the "real" Tiger. The real Tiger is still waiting for a little help to be unearthed.

Have you ever observed the shift in reality that occurs around the last few days and counting before Christmas? You know how it goes: otherwise dark people begin to light up from the inside. Something changes, something fundamental, and even confirmed Scrooges are seen to smile, wave, and hold the door for strangers.

“He’s caught the Christmas Spirit,” people will say. Or, “Too bad she’s not really this nice.” And, “Enjoy it while it lasts; in a couple of days he’ll be back to normal.”

But here’s what I think (and this is what Tiger Woods needs to understand); the goodwill, and the pleasantry, and the gentle light shining from deep inside these folk is nothing short of 100 percent natural. What’s abnormal is the dysfunction; what’s wide of God’s mark are the other 360-plus days; what’s uncalled for is this broken world’s unrelenting pain. - (Adapted from Epilogue; "In My Heart I Carry A Star", p 144)

Following Jesus is actually a return to normalcy - the normal we were designed for; the intention behind our creation in the first place.

The writer who suggested Tiger should embrace his inner sinner (my words!) is 100% off target. We were created for relationship with God. "Goodness" turns out to be 100% natural. That's why the dissonance hurts so much.

I'm praying that Tiger extends his future beyond image and into the possibility of real redemption.
- DEREK

Weekend post - unexpected tears

I know I've explained in this space before how completely okay I am with the whole empty nest thing. In fact, Rebekah and I are thriving on the situation. The children are happy, we're happy, all is right with the world...

... And then, seemingly from left field, these situations emerge where I have these deep, poignant heart-pangs and I'm reduced to mush and I miss Andrew and Naomi so much that I can't help it - sometimes I cry.

Case in point bedtime last night. Once in a while I'll read Rebekah a chapter or a story from "In My Heart I Carry A Star", and so I read a chapter from week three, "God is the Strongest." Tucked up against the end of the reading there was this story about putting the children to bed when they were very young - I'll paste those few paragraphs at the end of this post - and for some reason my heart overflowed and I couldn't even finish reading.

Good grief! It's not like it was the first time I'd heard the story! What does it say when I can't even read my own writing for crying out loud?

Well, I know what it says:

• It says "The love and the bond Rebekah and I and God created in this family over all those years together was powerful - and that it still is".
  
• It says "Something deep and true about what love means has been seeded into that particular story."
  
• It says "It's all right to let the truth about love wash over me sometimes, and that love is definitely the strongest power on earth."
• It says that I am blessed...

Here's the story, just pulled from the end of the chapter. Read it at your own risk!
- DEREK

We really are a very ordinary family. There’s not much that is so wonderful or so terrible that it overwhelms us. Mostly life turns out to be – you know - the nitty-gritty of ups and downs and normal everyday events that we share and deal with and move on.

But there is nothing average about the love that binds us all together. There is nothing average about the commitment Rebekah and I have for one another. There is nothing average about our God, or about Jesus, or the extraordinarily amazing cascade of possibilities that God introduced to this world that first Christmas...

...The children were asleep, Rebekah and I had enjoyed our tea together, and the evening slipped into night. Much later, after I had walked the dog and put out the garbage and locked up the house, I attended to those few final details before brushing my teeth and crawling into bed. The lights were off, the blinds were closed, and the kitchen was clean, everything pretty-much in its proper place.

The house seemed extra quiet as I tip-toed down the creaky wooden hallway from Naomi’s room after taking a long look at both sleeping children; it’s a joy that can still cap off my day so beautifully when we are fortunate enough to have them home. As I crept away, almost out of earshot, I heard Naomi - half-asleep and into the stillness:

“Daddy, I love you. Daddy I do love God; God is the strongest. Goodnight.”

And so she fell back into sleep again. God is the strongest.

You bet God is strong. Yes, God loves me that way; God loves all of us that way. Even our children knew it, when they were so young and we lived on Piedmont Road, way back at the beginning of time. It’s one of the reasons I can say with utmost confidence, that while our average family does indeed have average experiences every average day, we know with a non-average certainty that God loves us, that our God is the strongest - so much stronger than the strong - and that God’s strength is a powerful and a sturdy love.

We know that this love is a strong love, and that we are exceptional because of that fact. We are God’s children, and there is absolutely nothing in the universe that can possibly compromise that kind of powerful, life-changing, loving, strongest of Christmas truths.

PRAYER: We approach you as humble people, God. We feel blessed, we feel supported, and we are encouraged by our knowledge of your strong love for us. It’s comforting to realize that your commitment to us is far stronger than the limits of our faith. We pray because we love you, and because we want to know you more completely. Amen

- "In My Heart I Carry A Star: stories for Advent" (pp 103-104)

Good news from the Heartland

This morning I drove downtown to Tampa's Waterside Marriott, where I enjoyed breakfast with a new friend who shares some of my passion for living day to day as if faith actually makes a difference in the real world.

Arlin is a farmer from the Heartland and he also runs a networking resource business. Several years ago he realized the struggles his technology operation was experiencing were nowhere near unique, so he started a business-to-business support group to share ideas, encourage one-another and move forward - without having to constantly re-invent the wheel. The idea flourished until there were a dozen participants in the group.

The next step was a formalized peer-mentoring network. Today, my friend's network - HTG Peer Groups - facilitates mutually beneficial connections with over 20 "Peer Groups". Here's the definition from their website: An HTG peer group is a group of 6-12 like-minded IT company leaders who meet quarterly in a non-competitive environment to network and discuss issues specific to each member’s concerns as a company owner, president or manager..."

What's especially cool is the way Arlin naturally brings the principles of faith into the mix. It's impossible to be successful in business, he argues, without having balance in life across the board. It's impossible to experience the optimal in balance, it logically follows, without reconciling the fundamentals of a relationship with the Creator who designed us in the first place.

No proselytizing here, simply a living testimony to the fact of lives revolutionized and restored in response to the foundational and life-affirming veracity of the Gospel message. As we talked over breakfast, along with our mutual friend, Santo, it became obvious that we have the same gut-level reaction to so much of the misinformation that's circulating about following Jesus in a consumption dominated culture. The "prosperity-gospel" folk like to tell people that God wants to reward followers with material goods because, "God promises to fulfill the desires of our hearts..." But Arlin's theology - and mine - informs him that:

• people who lead balanced lives are simply more productive;
  
• people who are faithful disciples are more in contact with the needs of people around them;
  
• people who follow Jesus with integrity are likely better bosses and more adept at making decisions that benefit all concerned;
• faithful witnesses to God's redeeming love are going to make their families a priority and not become so lost in their work or dedicated to the almighty dollar that relationships are expendable;
  
• ..... We could go on.

Bottom line here: Men and women who follow Jesus instead of pushing self-gratification and "happiness" as defined by the lie of "escalating acquisition" will - in all likelihood - experience success in business because of what they bring to the table. Consequently, my friend's peer-group network necessarily involves some attention to the fact that we are also spiritual beings. And - ergo - that our response to God really does not work as a "part-time" commitment, but that we are people of faith no matter what we're up to.

It's an approach that, it turns out, is not only family friendly, and Creator friendly - it's also good for business. Love and blessings - DEREK

Don't store up treasures on earth! Moths and rust can destroy them, and thieves can break in and steal them. Instead, store up your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy them, and thieves cannot break in and steal them. Your heart will always be where your treasure is. - Matthew 6:19-21

Tradition and the "Happy Christmas-Tree Farm'

Wow! Guesting on a live talk show is way different from recording in advance. But I'll write about that later, when they send me the pictures and have the show posted on-line.

For now I'm thinking tradition. You know, the things that happened in the past that still have important meaning attached to them and we have a hard time replicating today.

Fact is, I think we try too hard. If an experience was great then celebrate and enjoy - but it doesn't mean we have to go at it exactly the same way for the remainder of eternity! I'm thinking about Christmas, of course. I've come to believe that - so long as we have the essential elements in place - enjoying the now makes a lot more sense. We can go about our preparations the same way, and we can include all the familiar practices, and we can honor the thread of Gospel narrative that knits everything together... but it makes no sense to painstakingly replicate the past when it turns out that "here" is where Christmas so resoundingly resides.

Here's a short story about tradition that we really enjoy:

One Christmas, when the children were very young, we answered an ad from the “Happy Christmas Tree Farm”. The trip to pick up our tree was a nightmare of whining, complaining, and fighting. The experience of cutting the tree was worse. Then the drive back involved no less than three incidents of “We’re pulling over to the side of the road and we’re not going anywhere until you stop fighting.”

We skipped our dinner treat, the tree fell off the roof twice, and by the time we made it home I was ready to use the thing for firewood.

“That’s the last time we go anywhere more than two miles away to cut our own tree,” Rebekah said. I wholeheartedly agreed. The next year I intercepted the “Happy Christmas Tree Farm” flyer and dropped it in the trash. I must not have buried it deep enough, because the children brought it with them to supper that night.

“You lost our invitation,” Andrew said with a look of anticipation all over his nine-year-old face.

Rebekah and I did a double take. “I thought we’d support the Boy Scouts and pick up a tree at the ball field,” I offered.

“We can’t do that Daddy,” Naomi chimed in; "We go to the farm."

Andrew nodded in agreement. Little matter that we’d only ever gone to the “Happy” place once, and little matter the experience was an unqualified disaster. The children sealed our fate with a time honored appeal.

“But we always go to the Happy Christmas Tree Farm,” they said in unison. “It’s our family tradition.”

The traditions we have grown over the years are ours. They’re not British, they’re not American, but they are “Derek, Rebekah, Andrew, Naomi, Craig, and God” ones. That’s my family, that’s my experience of Christmas. And it’s an experience cradled securely in the context of God’s overwhelming love. It’s a basis for tradition that I am proud and happy to share.

Honoring our faith traditions is a must if we are to know Christmas peace of any substance. If we don’t have faith traditions deep in our experience, then it’s incumbent on us to add them. Otherwise our practices will simply be those pushed on us by the world of commerce and want, and that’s not a message designed to bring us any closer to God

Animating Old Words with Living Meaning

This morning I posted the following rambling set of thoughts as a discussion starter for my on-line class ("Making it all the way to Christmas with your faith intact"). "I'm thinking out loud here," I wrote. "Read these thoughts, and see where they lead you today."

Consider the idea that the word "love" never fulfilled it's latent potential on earth until Christ was born 2,000 years ago...

... We respond to words much of the time as if they were absolute, that the definition of a word is somehow immutable, standing independent as it were from life. But what if words were/are containers into which we could pour added meaning.

...What if, for example, we could amplify the meaning of the word "Hope" by living lives of such promise that the people we live and work and play around understood it in a new way? Or what if we took the word "Grace" out of the comparative abstraction of the famous song (admittedly a great song) and presented it to our neighbors as a living, breathing reality via the way we respond to the world around us...?

... What if the concept of "Love" was not yet fully animated before Christ came to earth? What if the word still means something only two dimensional for those who do not know Christ? What if we did some thinking about how the Christ-love might redefine our relationships once we really begin to understand the meaning of "Love that came down at Christmas..." "Love was born at Christmas...."

... Think about the life - the living theology - we can bring (you and I) to the vocabulary of Grace once we fully engage Christmas. How complete is your/my vocabulary? Do we need to learn the deeper meaning of these words... Hope - Promise - Peace - Love - Grace - Joy...?

... Make a journal entry if you wish - record your thoughts. Talk with God about it. I know I will.

Love and blessings - DEREK