Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Remember how much fun it was to love your wife like crazy, back in the day when everything was fresh and new and exciting? That’s the reason you proposed. That’s why you got married. That’s what you had in mind for the rest of your life.
Then, more often than not, life gets in the way and everything - and that includes relationships at home – is in danger of lapsing into mediocre. Boredom leads to more boredom and then before we know it we have the mind-set that believes, “This is all there is” and we should be prepared to settle because, “Well, everyone does, don’t they?”
Well, no! Mind-numbing sameness is not necessarily the only option for the balance of our lives. We can – you can – love your wife like crazy, and enjoy marriage with passion and verve and the kind of fun that animated you as a couple back in the day.
Mostly the solution is about belief, and about decisions, and about practice. Try the following 10 Ways to love your wife like crazy. Then, once the ball is rolling, it will be up to you to take it from there!
- Choose Love: We have so much influence over the way we feel. Wake up in the morning with the choice to love your wife like crazy front and center. While you’re thinking that way you’ll likely pour her a cup of coffee or serve her tea. Now you have a positive roll going and it’s all because you made a conscious choice.
- Every day for a week: Make a commitment – to yourself – to so something mildly spectacular every day for a week. Then follow through. It could be as simple as a single rose at home… or it could be as outlandish as surprising her with a love-song (by you) in a public place. Regardless, by the third day you’ll be excited about it too.
- Propose to her again: Get on one knee (if you still can!) and tell her all over about how you’d love to spend the rest of your life as her husband. Think of all the reasons you love her, then show her how much you do.
- Believe it: There’s a principle that declares, “If you believe something to be true, then it is!” Tell yourself you love her like crazy – believe it. Say it out loud. Do something about it. It will be true.
- Talk about her: And make sure it’s positive. Keep your wife in your mind, on your heart and in a positive light. Research suggests it takes seven positive to counteract one negative. Well, load those odds by always talking your wife up. Your friends, at work, at church, to other relatives… It doesn’t matter where you are or who you’re talking to, talk positively about your wife and you will love her more. It’s not just mud that sticks when you throw it against the wall.
- Hold her: You’ve heard of the five love languages, right? Well women speak more than one language and one of them is always “hold me.” A big, long hug when you come home. Holding hands walking and in the car. Snuggling on the couch. You name the situation – now add some version of “hold me”. It’s win-win, and it will help you to love her like crazy.
- Spend time together: Sound like a no-brainer? Well it is! But parking our brains is a common phenomenon for men, so this one makes it to the list. Just be together, remember how great it is to simply hang out. Familiarity breeds love.
- Make it special: It’s too easy to reserve special for other people, and then limit ourselves – and our primary relationship – to run of the mill.
- Carry her picture in your wallet: Don’t just cart the picture around, but show her off too. “Hey, check out this great pic of my wife!” “Your grandkids look cute… but look at this new photo of my wife.”
- Tell her “Thanks” on a regular basis:
a. Thanks for loving me.
b. Thanks for being such a great mom.
c. Thanks for this awesome meal.
d. Thanks for being so beautiful.
e. Thanks for saying yes when I proposed.
f. Thanks for everything... “I love you like crazy.”
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New Jersey, West Virginia...
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Yesterday I decided that I quite possibly have super-powers. The moment I had this revelation was during a hike through the woods around Flume Gorge here in the White Mountains.
Everything about the afternoon was perfect. The fall colors were crisp and luminous; the path through the woods was inviting; the walk through the gorge was breathtaking; my sense of satisfaction at enjoying such a day with Rebekah gave me peace. I felt at one not only with creation but with the Creator.
What I understood, in that moment (or long series of moments over the entire day), was a heightened ability to see clearly, to perceive everything around me to what felt like the fullness of possibility. It appeared to me that I owned a super-natural ability to sense (think, feel, see, hear, intuit, apprehend...), and that I was doing it in four distinct dimensions.
Thinking about this, I realize that it wasn't (isn't) super-power so much as it is fully engaging everything that is and should be natural for us as beings created in the image of God.
I believe it is just as accurate to say that too much of the time too many of us engage the world with dulled sensibilities and zero imagination.
This is what vacation is supposed to be. It's supposed to involve re-creation, renewed spiritual sensitivity, and the opportunity to appreciate and enjoy this amazing world like never before.
My prayer is that I bring this back with me when we return home, and that I will continue to exercise my super-powers - with thanksgiving and with joy.
Peace - DEREK
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
The photo says - Derek and Rebekah eased their way to the coffee pot well after Eight O'clock and that may well be the extent of their adventures for the day...
I'm not sure, but the theme of this vacation may well be the "timer-remote" camera shot. Derek & Rebekah... somewhere.
That's the point. We're somewhere and we don't care where... and we're together and we care deeply about that. Sometimes vacation isn't about re-invention; it's about being.
It's a truth that we can't accomplish much in the way of "doing" until we come to grips with "being". This vacation is all about being.
Serendipity. Yesterday evening we went to Rachel and Tom's church for Wednesday evening Bible-study. Who should be there but the man who invited me to keynote the 2011 Presbyterian Men's National Conference! The conference theme is slated to be, "In Life and in Death We Belong to the Lord."
It's already a key element of what it means to be on our vacation. "Belonging to the Lord" brings the unity, that compelling sense of continuity, to our experience. We don't care so much what we're doing as the fact that we're doing it in the context of relationship... and that's a relationship that includes our "resting" in the awesome to contemplate fact of God's love.
Until I next make my way to a computer - that's attached to the Internet - love and blessings - DEREK
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
- Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.