Ingredients of a great relationship

Classic at home date with Rebekah

Once in a while - being somewhat of a “foodie” – I take pictures while I’m cooking. Usually it’s on impulse, along the lines of, “Hey, this looks pretty good I should post it on facebook….” And that was certainly the case yesterday evening when Rebekah and I enjoyed one of our stay at home date nights.

What struck me was the transformation between preparation and presentation.

TRANSFORMATION:Here’s the prep photo, taken in the kitchen. As you can tell, there’s not a lot of complexity here. In fact, by the time I had finished all I had used to prepare the meal was steak, asparagus, potatoes, bread, four ounces of onion, one clove of garlic, olive oil, butter, salt, pepper, a wedge of lemon and a tablespoon of balsamic vinegar.

Good quality ingredients, prepared properly.

It may have been just the two of us, but a great meal in the best of company calls for fine china on the dining room table. Candlelight too. The key idea here is that we don’t take each other for granted.

Never stagnant

ADVENTURE: That’s why we still date; that’s why we still have great adventures together. This is a relationship that’s worth the effort, worth the preparation, worth the deliberation of bringing our best to the table and then working to make it better.

If we’re not careful, we can slip into “making do,” especially when life and work is overwhelming and we’re just so tired. That’s when we lose ground. Even the best relationships lose ground once in a while.

REALITY: There’s a principle at play here: we either move forward or we slip backwards. There is no coasting; it’s a fact of life.

Not that we shouldn’t expect to experience a little ebb and flow. That’s part of the natural rhythm of things. But when we chart the overall growth pattern – both of our marriage and our individual lives – it’s important to be moving in the right direction. Growth that counts doesn’t happen by chance, and it certainly won’t happen by neglect. It requires preparation, deliberation, commitment.

What an adventure!

DATE: So we date. We prepare. We bring our very best to the table. We are faithful not just to the other person but to the principle of commitment.

This last photo? It was taken earlier this year, at the entrance to the lost city of Petra in Jordan. This entire life is an adventure – or at least it should be…

- DEREK

Witness to the Light (Girl on a Roof)

[John] came as a witness to testify concerning the light, so that through him all might believe. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light (John 1:7-8).

I like the form of this photograph. Girl on a roof. I don't always have my Nikon with me, but typically there's a cellphone in my back pocket. So when I looked up and saw Rebekah silhouetted against the darkening afternoon sky, I thought it might make an image worth preserving.

It was the last of Christmas. Holdout strands of rooftop lights, starting to look untidy; small branches caught in the wires; random sections unmoored, hanging uneasily from the gutters. They weren't being lit any more so they needed to go.

Light is an interesting phenomenon. Without it this photograph would reveal nothing. Too much and the effect would be the same. There's a shading here that allows form to speak in a way that is often lost in the complexities of color.

The storm clouds - subtly present in the background - were rolling in and the wind was picking up. Rain threatened. A pointed freshness in the air invited pause, at least enough of a pause to drink in the simple beauty of a Florida winter's day.

There is beauty in everything - such a simple statement, but loaded with the kind of truth I need to apprehend on a deeper level if I am going to make any sense out of this complex, conflicted world.

In a recent interview, Journalist Diane Sawyer said, "I so believe in the fact that we are somehow born to love the truth." I suspect that she's one hundred percent right, and it's certainly an understanding that drives my interface with the world.

However, I also believe many people are confused when it comes to how they go about putting themselves in the proximity of truth, and they end up being satisfied with "answers" instead. But answers don't necessarily have that much in common with truth and they are deceived.

The truth of this photograph is the beauty it reveals on a grey winter's day. Heaven touching Earth. A human being visible only against the backdrop of light. Not light illuminating humanity so much as humanity defined because of light.

"[John] came as a witness to testify concerning the light, so that through him all might believe. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light" (John 1:7-8).