This year Rebekah and I decided to celebrate Valentine's Day differently. What we did was to rearrange our schedules so we could enjoy a relaxed day-long date. Sometimes the simplest of plans can be the best.
If you're at a loss for something "special" to do together, how about some of the following:
- Taking time to enjoy an extra cup of coffee together - conversation in your favorite armchairs?
- Saying "you're more important than anything else on my schedule today, so we'll just hang out together!"
- Or maybe one of you could dig out an old Longhorn gift certificate from your wallet and you could go out for a leisurely lunch?
- Here's an idea, 60-degrees and sunshine is the perfect time to walk on the beach together - what could be more fun than a drive out to Bradenton Beach together and a three-mile hike in the sand?
Of course, it helps if you like one-another to begin with. But - and this is a key point - I honestly believe Rebekah and I are more likely to enjoy being together precisely because we're always working on the creativity element of relationship. It's a chicken-or-egg thing, and we've got it covered both ways!
This weekend one of my church friends said that there's a genuine comfort in knowing that your wife/husband is there, regardless - even if you don't feel much in the way of love, or experience much passion, or talk, or have a good time together. Well, I understand what he was saying... but there's a danger in letting that sense of maintenance-free comfort-level become a substitute for even trying any more. And that's a recipe for long-term disappointment.
Yes, the relationship will still be there - usually - even when we take one-another for granted... But, NO, that is not an ideal state of affairs. It's important to apply some imagination and some inventiveness to our marriages. To introduce some creativity and add some loving intention to the equation. Why wouldn't a guy work hard to come up with some great ideas for being together? That's what you did to get the relationship going in the first place. Marriage doesn't mean you quit dating!
Peace - DEREK