Saturday, August 22, 2009

Needing to listen to my own words...

Truth be told I'm a little discouraged today. I traveled all the way to Dunedin this morning to teach two workshops; I was away from my house for 8 hours. Three people showed up for the first class, then I had six at the second. Two of the six had already attended the exact same class when it was offered in the Spring. So that's two and a half hours of lecture material to reach 7 new people!

Then I'm just not really feeling any "buzz" on or about my new book. So far there's no real indication of any interest, and it doesn't seem to be moving at all - either at Amazon or at my publisher's on-line store. The interactive blog attached to the book at isn't generating any traffic at all.

So I'm not sure what to make of all this. I'm still excited about my writing, and I honestly believe that what I'm saying is exactly the correct message for this time...
  • But what good is a spot-on message if no-one is listening?
  • What if the hundreds of thousands of Christians out there who I feel compelled to reach simply aren't interested?
  • What if church people really don't want anything beyond a part-time faith?
  • What if the words I have so carefully chosen simply fail to resonate?
  • What it America is Okay with misinformation about God, and content to remain mediocre when it comes to following Jesus - just like we're content to be mediocre about so much else?
I'm not writing this post as a deliberate downer... but this is supposed to be an honest look inside my mind and my spirit, and I need to feel free about laying out my concerns in this space right alongside my triumphs and my assurances. Life is wonderful - I'm not backing off from that affirmation one iota. But I am worried (yes, I know Jesus says not to!) about my work. Am I investing myself in the right cause? Is this a conversation anyone really cares to have?

If you're reading this, I'd appreciate prayer on behalf of the work I'm involved in.

"Live as if we mean it - because God most certainly does..." It's a phrase I use more than once in my new book. Right now I'd appreciate some affirmation and some confirmation regarding my own words.

Love and blessings - DEREK


Ronda's Rants said...

I think you are doing what God has called you to do and I think you will be blessed and I will pray for your ministry and you! :)

Anonymous said...

Your daily comments on this blog makes a difference in my life-
I too have had work/life issues recently.
Please pray for me and I'll pray for you.

Anonymous said...

I've just started reading your blog, and I can certainly relate to your feelings of ineffectiveness to an apathetic audience as this new school year begins. I think it's just stepping out in faith, and I certainly don't do that as well as you. But I'm trying to learn to rely more on God's guidance than on my own abilities -- it's very hard for me to do. You help me just by watching you live your life the way you do.

Marlene Hutchins said...

When I put out a lot of effort for seemingly small results, I am sometimes reminded of God's admonition through Zechariah - not to despise the day of small beginnings... Keep doing what you feel called to do, and God will do the rest!

abbi said...

It's okay to feel and express yourself during the down times. It's called honesty; and Yes you are writing and sharing what you've been called to do! You are gifted, and you will be blessed since you have chosen to share your gifts with others. God bless, and I'll be praying for you and Rebekah! :)